All hail the King!
Your majesty, the all powerful and unmerciless - your Majesty the King of all SQUATS.
(You may address him as Squats though, as we're amongst friends. Oh, and we're not referring to the mising in Las Vegas type either)
The King is the King for many reasons. I'll list these quickly but not concisely;
he is merciless, he is the ultimate authority on strength, he will build muscle like no other, he will enhance appetite yet burn fat off, he induses an anobolic hormone response like no other, he makes you mentally stronger, he trains your nervous system, blah blah etc etc.
If you question the King you may prove him wrong - but only in battle. For those that would defy the King - load up that bar with twice your body weight and rep out a set of squats until the bar screams STOP. You wouldn't dare would you? It wouldn't happen like that would it?
That the King is mightier than thou is beyond question.
So how can we become a great servant of the King and in return enjoy the training benfits of his wise rule?
Here's a quick list of Kingly commandments. Follow these and thou shalt reap rich rewards.
- respect the King at all times. If you do not he will hurt you badly.
- pay full attention to the King. Do not get distracted when you are in the gym with a bar across you trapezius and expect the King to look upon you kindly. Concentrate.
- no the King has no limits - but you do. Start off squatting with a very moderate wieght. Begin slowly and in a controlled fashion. Form (or exercise execution) is paramont. So do not make promises to the King that you know you cannot keep - he will not forgive you.
- the King demands courtley etiquette. Study the exercise form for squats, read about squats and practice. Lest you offend the King - remember he will not forgive easily.
- wear appropriate footwear and clothing. The King demands flat soled shoes and loose clothing for freedom of movement. Do not show up poorly dressed for the King
- curtsy commoner. Once you have the bar placed and you are facing forward, head slightly up. The King requires that you squat, all of the way down (often called the hole) until your bum is almost touching your calves. And then all of the way up.
- once is not enough to be respectful. No - you will repeat the suat for somewhere ranging from 10-20 reps. No excuses the King demands.
- and again he commands. Thats right he will want sets. Lets say 3-5 sets.
Suffer so that yee may reap (or weep which is more likely)
Know that you will find many many excuses not to face the King. Know that that is your failing not his.
Be strong, face the King, be respectful and safe.
Reap the rewards that only the King can bestow on yee.